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Travels are over, at least for now

Yesterday was my first day back home after 3 weeks of traveling. I spent two weeks in northern California visiting family and lending a hand where I could. Then I took a trip to Washington state to visit my mother and some friends. Overall, it was a great time and I got to do some of my favorite things like eating huge home-cooked meals, hiking and sight-seeing. I am sure glad to be back home, though.

End of the month stats:

• Unique Visitors:  43,716
• Page Views: 107,112
• Pages Per Visit: 2.5
• RSS Subscribers: 176 (more than month goal)
• Technorati Rank: 48,166
• Alexa 150,510: (just above month goal)

Next month goals will be posted on the side bar.

Here are some pictures from my trip

Family cabin in northern California, a little morning breakfast.

My mother’s cat Pretty Girl and I (used to be my cat).

Blaine, Washington about 2 miles from Canada on the coast.

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What a great week. The sun has been shining for at least half the week and we haven’t received any snow. Yes, believe it or not, last night it snowed an hour from here. I swear this winter lasted about 7 months. I just wonder how the rest of the seasons fit into the year.

Happy Mothers Day
Face it, without mothers, none of us would be here. I would like to say and give a special thanks to my mother for surviving the Las Vegas heat in summer to put up with me. Thanks, Mom. I hope that I do not have to remind anyone to call or do something special, but just in case. What are you waiting for? Go now and do it.

Traveling
On Monday I will be traveling to the great state of California for a couple weeks where I am going to be helping out some family members. Before you start dreaming of the ocean and sand, I will remind you that I will be in the far north area of California near Mt. Shasta. I have been looking forward to my trip and visiting family. Hopefully I can post some nice pictures next week.

Tools
I finally caved and bought an MP3 player last week. In particular, a Sansa View. I recently did an interview and had the chance to record some of the conversation with a Sansa I borrowed. I was completely blown away by how well it recorded and sounded, not to mention all the other features included. I really wanted to get a decent digital voice recorder. I quickly realized they were about $100 and for a little more I could get a device that sounds just as good recording but also plays music and movies. It seemed like a no brainer.
Alexa
I shaved off 25k from my Alexa stats for this blog. That is a good thing. I really don’t know how much weight I give Alexa anymore. Alexa even admitted that in the last two years it was completely wrong in how it valued websites and now somehow magically it is better. In the end, is your blog expanding or contracting? Do you have more readers this month than last? Do you have more comments and linkbacks? That is what really matters.

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For those of you who don’t know, my girlfriend is the writer of ThatMutt.com. We have been dating for over two years now. We have many things in common, like, we both play rugby, enjoy music, competition, outdoor activities and traveling. On the reverse side, I am very extroverted and she is quite introverted. This post is dedicated to all the boyfriends or girlfriends with an introverted companion.

1. Introverts don’t make quick decisions. If you want a direct answer to a question, limit the possibilities to two answers. If you ask an open-ended question, you will get the usual response of “I don’t care.” Say we are planning a dinner out and haven’t decided where to go yet. I will ask, “Would you like to go to Olive Garden or Red Lobster?” If she prefers one or the other, she will say so. If she doesn’t like either one, she will also normally voice her opinion. I ask in this matter when I don’t have a preference, simply to save time in guessing.

2 . Just because they are quiet doesn’t mean they are upset. When I am angry, tired, upset or exhausted, it is easy to see why. When my girlfriend is quiet, it could simply mean she is just thinking or reflecting. She often uses down time to reflect and consider options, life issues or to mentally map out the tasks ahead, whereas I tend to crash into things as they come and deal with the mess afterwards. So when I see her pondering, I think something is the matter. Often times she isn’t upset or angry but rather considering.

3. Give them time to unwind. I feed off energy. A fast tempo and a lot going on tends to drive me like a steam engine. When the fire settles down, I quick look for a new source of fuel to fan the flames again. She, on the other hand, needs to take a mental break and unwind from the chaos she just witnessed. It is probably a good thing that I have this sort of balance in my life in order to bring some rest time for me. By choice, I would probably avoid sitting idle at all costs. It’s like how deep sea divers are required to spend time in decompression after hours of work in the ocean’s depths.

4. Talking is not a necessity. I can talk and talk and talk. Lindsay, on the other hand, doesn’t feel the need to fill the void with words. Take for instance, if we go to a movie. When it is over, I love to talk about it and see what thoughts it provoked. She never has much to say about the movie immediately afterwards. She would rather think the movie over first and form her own opinions, then talk about it later. But for me, my thoughts and opinions form while talking about the experience, not before.

5. Challenge them. Like I mentioned before, we balance each other out. I challenge and stretch her social side, while she grounds me in knowing it’s okay to take a break sometimes. I doubt that Lindsay would have ever decided to cliff jump if it weren’t for me challenging her. I am not saying the introverts don’t love excitement just that it is good to challenge and stretch them in different situations.

6. Don’t interrupt them. My experience with introverts is they hate to be interrupted. When they are giving their thoughts or opinion on a matter, you can be sure it has been well thought out and processed before doing so. They like to have a firm grasp on the subject at hand before sharing their thoughts. I on the other hand think and speak from the hip and get excited doing so. This is probably why I loved impromptu speaking in speech and debate. This fly by the seat of my pants approach to speaking also gets my in trouble in a structured setting and I tend to step on some toes in the process. I’m a work in progress.

7. Ask questions. Unless asked or provoked on certain subjects, Lindsay will probably not broach a subject unless it’s hard pressing. Unless you ask questions to things you want answers for, you will probably keep getting those very limited responses like “I don’t know” or “I don’t care.” I can’t stand these limited answers to things I am interested in and typically continue to ask questions.

8. Give them a verbal map. When Lindsay and I are going to a conference or a family engagement, I find planning is vital. She can appear to be content one minute, but ready to run out the building in less than 5 minutes because she needs a break or has had enough. This can be avoided by letting the introvert know what the plan is in advance. I would love to sit and chat with random strangers for hours if the topic is interesting to me, but for Lindsay, this is not the case. I tell her the meeting or gathering is planning to do X and will take approximately X amount of time. Then things tend to go a lot better because she can prepare ahead of time, knowing how much mental energy the event will take up. Plus she can schedule in her own breaks. When engagements are open ended and without direction, she and I tend to run into conflict.

9. Listen. If Lindsay thinks I am not listening, then her feelings are easily hurt. This is because if she is going to voice her opinion on a subject, she has most likely planned and thought ahead on it. When she says something, she expects me to listen. This is different from my thought process, because I often just speak without thinking first, so I tend to overlook the vested interest she has put into what she is saying.

10. Encourage them to express themselves. In general, introverts do not show as much emotion as extroverts. I’m not talking about just crying and laughing. I mean anger, hurt, excitement, whatever it may be. Introverts and extroverts experience the same emotions, they just don’t show them the same way. I have to remind myself that just because Lindsay is not showing something, it doesn’t mean she isn’t feeling it. When she does decide to express something a little more than usual, I try to encourage her.

Popularity: 13% [?]

Each week I will point out some real marketers of genius. Through this series, I hope to show some ways not to market yourself or your brand.

This week we salute you, Ristreto Coffee of Fargo, ND. Only you would decide to put yourself in between a Starbucks and a Caribou Coffee. In a town with an average temperature of -8, you said to hell with it and opted out of the drive-thru. Your coffee might be worth getting out of my car for. Unfortunately for you, they both have a drive-thru.

Upon closer inspection, we can see that Ristreto Coffee is closed while they move to a different location. The reason for the move, I am assuming, is due to the extremely poor location they are currently in. No further than 200 yards to the east of Ristreto Coffee is a well-established Starbucks Coffee with a nice, covered drive-thru. With North Dakota winters pushing the envelope of -20, a covered drive-thru goes a long way.

About 200 yards to the west of Ristreto Coffee is a Caribou Coffee. For those of you unfamiliar with Caribou Coffee, it is the upper Midwest’s competition to Starbucks Coffee. This Caribou Coffee also has a drive-thru and has been serving in the same location for a couple of years.

Why on earth would someone pick a spot in the middle of these two? More importantly, their business is located in a strip mall with no street access. Considering the street in front of their business in one of the busiest in town, this is a problem. Not to mention it has no drive-thru option for the people traveling on the busiest street in town. Further more, Ristreto Coffee sits right in the middle of two brewing giants. Unless the baristas are serving your coffee topless, I see no reason for people to walk through the door. I hope the second location goes much better for the people over at Ristreto Coffee.

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Popularity: 13% [?]

1. Take a look

Honestly, look around you. If you are at work, this is probably enough said. If you aren’t, then take a good look around when you get there. Do you really want to end up like that guy next to you? You know, the one who’s been there for 20 years? What about the woman who’s retiring next week? You mean, she actually worked there that long? What about the woman next to you, the one complaining about the project she’s working on. Are you just like her, or are you going to do something about it?

2. Ditch the employee handbook for good

Live without an oppressive regime employee handbook. As part of the employee’s training, we are taught what to wear, how to talk, sit, and so on. People aren’t allowed to think for themselves because that would ruin everything. God forbid Derek puts a plant on his desk when it’s against policy. Your job probably has some stupid little rules for you to follow. Well, if you are your own boss, you can wear what you want, do what you want and say what you want without asking permission first.

3. Get paid for your value not your time

Get paid what you are worth, not what someone says you are worth. At your job, you are probably trading time for money instead of value for money. In the auto repair industry, workers are paid X number of dollars per repair. It doesn’t matter to the manager if it only takes 5 minutes to complete the job. It is possible to provide a great value to a customer while only spending a couple of minutes doing so. In the end, the customer is happy, and you are paid for the value you provided, not the time spent providing it. Think about what kind of value you have to offer. You’d be surprised what people will pay for that value.

4. Quit gambling

Many people believe having a job is the safest way to earn an income. This is wrong. How is it safer to place your life and your family members’ lives in the hands of those who treat you like a number on a spreadsheet? Do you really think your employer has your best interest at heart? The people who make decisions at the top of the company have one thing in mind, to preserve the interests of their investors and shareholders. Placing your trust and life in the hands of someone else is the exact opposite of safe. It is foolish. You can’t have security when you don’t have control, and employees have the least amount of control. Limit your job title to entrepreneur, not professional gambler.

5. Go ahead, give yourself a raise

When it’s finally time for a raise and your review is around the corner, how do you act? Do you start to sit and perform tricks to make your master happy? Do you beg for more money? Does it feel good to be thrown some doggie treats now and then? Or would you rather feel free to decide what you make without anybody’s permission? The money you earn through your business is proportional to the value you provide. Up your value, and you will begin to earn more. It’s your time and energy, so you decide how much you are willing to give.

6. Travel the world

When you are working for yourself and you feel like traveling, you can. If the destination of your travels includes a conference or meeting, then your business gets to foot the bill (the business part at least). Get out and get some fresh air. Stop dreaming about a vacation and actually do it. You will be happier, in control and out living life while making money. What could be better than that?

7. Be your own boss

When you enter the entrepreneur’s world and cross paths with an idiot, you can walk away. In the corporate world, that idiot is often your boss. Well, how about being your own boss? That way you make up your own rules. You won’t have to live by an employee handbook anymore. Do you want to take a 2-hour lunch to break up your day? What’s stopping you? Besides, for once you can now take credit for everything and know that someone else isn’t going to steal your glory. You make the decisions, and you get the benefits.

8. Feed yourself first

When owning your own business, you decide where the money goes. Chances are good the company you currently work for pays twice the amount of your take-home pay for the privilege of you working for them. All that extra cash your company pays that should rightfully be yours is siphoned off the top to 401(k)s, insurances, investors, share holders, Social Security and state and federal taxes. By the time you actually receive your paycheck, you are only paid for half the value you provide to your company. John Chow recently did a series on taxes and blogging. Here.

9. Work your own hours

If you aren’t a morning person, why are you waking up at 6:30 a.m. to get to work by 8:00 a.m.? I bet you really suffer through the first half of the day. Some people’s bodies naturally function at a different time of day than “normal” business hours. I say work when you are the most productive. When you fizzle out, find something else to do until you’re back on your “A” game again. This also comes in handy when you have kids and practices. Maybe the best part about being self employed is the amount of time you will have to spend with your family and friends. Your cat will be happier, too.

10. More Vacations

By working for yourself, you have the control of planning your own time off. More vacations sound great to anyone, but as a caution, they are only feasible if everything is in place for you to do so. I took a couple days off last week in order to take care of some personal matters. In the time I was gone, I made more money and had more visitors to my site than when I am normally here. Unfortunately, I don’t think that trend would last if I continued it, but I had the flexibility to take the trip. When your bases are covered and you want to get away, go ahead and do it. Have you used up all of your vacation days already?

*Inspired by Steve Pavlina’s 10 reasons you should never get a job

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